shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
