nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude. I can hear the air.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
