the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
