We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
