I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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