Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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