So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
