Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize