The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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