The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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