how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I stole a fireplace last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
