i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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