they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
