a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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