We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
