I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
