I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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