I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
