Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
sex in a hospital.. check
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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