dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
