it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
