Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
