wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
