He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
