so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Houston, we have a blender
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
