glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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