You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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