My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
