getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.