she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants