Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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