Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just had sex bonerless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.