Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
