Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
