I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
