I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
