And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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