so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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