whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm passing your future prison.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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