I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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