NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
