i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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