We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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