thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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