So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
