Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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