I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
