Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
