Nicole vs. Life
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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