im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
