It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
