I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
