so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize