Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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