he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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