Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
