I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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