He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
