Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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