uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
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Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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